resolving interpersonal conflict

In my opinion, interpersonal conflicts that occur with people you want to maintain good relationships with are the hardest to resolve. It is very difficult to express your displeasure without provoking the other party. Below is what I have experienced, please provide suggestion if you have any.

During the NUS netball club AGM meeting last year (an event where a new committee is elected by the seniors), B gave her speech and promised to stay committed to the club. She said, “Actions speak louder than words. There is no point if a person gives a perfect speech but do not carry out actions after that.” Impressed by her speech, the seniors appointed her as the deputy marketing director. After that election, I was the marketing director while B and two other girls became the deputies. Everything changed after B was successfully appointed as she did not practice what she preached. Right from the first marketing meeting to the last meeting, B did not attend any of it. She did not reply to majority of the handphone messages we sent. Furthermore, she failed to do the works assigned to her. In other words, she did nothing for the club.

Once, B offered to help us by editing and adding some necessary changes to the proposal that we did without her. This was after she had failed to attend the meeting where the other deputies and I did the proposal to be sent out to various companies. I felt that it would be rude for me to go ahead to use the proposal without her opinions in it and I did not want her to feel left out. Thus I agree to B’s offer and gave her a deadline for it. But one month after the deadline, I still did not receive the proposal. Throughout that whole month, I sent her handphone messages to ask about the proposal. Either she did not reply or said that she had email it to me. All along, I have been giving in and waited for her to no avail. In the end, I decided to go ahead to use and send out the proposal without B’s consensus because time was running out.

Doing marketing was really tedious and there was a lot to be done. We need to send out numerous emails, reply enquiries, call up companies, travel all around Singapore to meet companies, prepare documents, collect sponsored items and many more. Although we have openly expressed to B during general meetings that we are having problems coping with the heavy workload, B did not help. Finally, the day of our event was approaching and everyone was extremely busy with the preparations. B again, did not help at all, she even stop coming for meetings. B only appeared at the day of event.

We had tried to approach B to talk things out. But she always appeared to be bubbly and very nice to us, like nothing had happen before. Thus I just let the matter rest and give her some more chances. Thinking back, I should have show more concern to her and know the reasons behind her actions.

On one occasion, C approached me. He was the founder of the club and thus holds quite an amount of respect in the club, C knew what was going on and requested me as the marketing director to sack B or do not reward B with any CCA points. I was caught in a difficult position as I knew that it would be unfair to my other deputies if I do nothing. This was because the other deputies have put in a lot of effort while B did not and yet B could have the CCA points. But I did not want to make things difficult for B and I did not want to sour this relationship with her. Meanwhile, C is giving me pressure to sack B. Can you suggest what should I do?

The ways that developing effective communication skills are important for me

No man is an island. We communicate and interact with people everyday. Thus, it is important for the use effective communication to convey the correct information to the receiver and not get misunderstood. It is also equally important to practise active listening so as to receive the correct intention and instructions from the speaker and then respond relevantly.

When I was the marketing director of NUS netball club previously I need to email various companies to ask for sponsorship because we were organizing an outdoor event. Then when I was replying their enquiries, I often feel the pressure and difficulty to respond formally. The language I used sounded very childish and informal. This will also pose as a problem when I start working in the future. Thus, with effective communication, I can learn to write formally and professionally by selecting the proper words and tone. This can credit me as educated and creditable personnel. Thus it will help to convince the people that I am communicating with.

I will be going through job hunt and thus need to attend many job interviews. By having effective communication, I can be better prepared and perform well during my interviews which will hopefully impress the employers and get a job. I can foresee that there will be many presentations to be made throughout my working years,. With having effective communication, I can capture my audience’s attention and share my ideas and opinions convincingly and confidently.

In the future when I am working, I am bound to be someone’s superior or subordinate. Thus it is very crucial to communicate effectively so as to avoid misunderstandings and to enhance relationship and also to minimize conflicts. In other words, to have a nice and comfortable working environment so as to maximize everyone’s productivity,